Happy New Year.... although it's a little belated.

Last year; 2009, was quite a year for me personally. There were a lot of changes and momentus 0ccasions.

• I performed for the last time in my school drama studio which was a big deal for me. I have many fond memories of past rehearsals and performances that I will hold dear to me forever. I owe my drama department for playing a part in who I am today.

• I turned 18! I think it's funny the way some ages are deemed more important than others. What is it about 18 that makes it special? You can vote? You can drink (legally)? You can buy cigarettes? The latter aren't really anything to get excited about I wouldn't say. Neither is voting, come to think of it. Although of course I recognise its significance.
  

• I finished college and came out with results that I was really happy with.

• I had one of the best summers ever with some fantastic trips and holidays which made memories that will last a lieftime.

• I started university at UCLan which was scary but very exciting. Thus, I have met some great friends and people who have encouraged me daily for which I am very thankful.

However, despite all of this, I have found it to be a year of comfort. I asked God for strength in the challenges, and He gave it to me. I thanked Him in the good times and He blessed me. Yet still, I have remained quite comfortable.

I think 2010 is going to be a year where I will be stretched. Stepping out in faith is difficult because we feel like we have no control. We are all control freaks, thinking sometimes that we can handle our own lives best. We know ourselves better than anyone else can. We can only rely on oneself. We try that approach time and again and we come out defeated. It is only when we ask for strength and provision when we need it that we will see results. If we have everything before we need it, we won't rely on God, our faith won't be tested and we won't grow. God gives as and when so we learn to trust in Him, have faith in Him and surrender to His ways because HE knows us best. He is the Creator, He is the Father and He is our Provider, our Judge and our Advisor. My prayer and desire for this year is that He will reveal a little bit of His plan for my life and show me and that I will believe and trust in that, because He knows best. He knows everything.

Even though we are tested at times, when we need something and we don't seem to be able to see the actions, doesn't mean we won't be able to see the reactions. We don't realise that it was God's plan until after we see the results, and then we realise that it was God.

I hope you understand that jumble ^ and maybe take something away from it. Have a blessed 2010! :)

Christmas

Most of us really enjoy Christmas; its a happy time of year and is filled with fun and festivities and lots of food. But its so easy to take everything we have for granted. My prayer is that I don't forget how blessed I am.

We have so much, but its so easy to focus on what we don't have. I guess though, what it all boils down to, is the fact that I have everything I need. I have all my hopes and trust in the one who is the center of Christmas; the real meaning behind the extra details and traditions that people have added over time.

Christ came as a child. He was born into this world of darkness and became our light. God was born humbly in human form, to save us. To rescue us from the darkness that we created and so He could feel our pain and bear our shame and take all of that weight on His shoulders as he died on the cross.

Our sins were nailed into his perfect palms,
our transgressions were seared into the soles of his feet,
our imperfections were that crown of thorns crushing his forehead,
so we could be free.
Because of his death, I live. And that is what I am thankful for. Unworthy, but thankful nontheless because I know that He is all I need.

I pray you have a blessed Christmas and remember the hope in Jesus which is all we need. Don't focus on what you get or don't get, but what you already have.

Thought(s) for the day

Get over it.
There are more important people/things to worry about than yourself and your issues.
Don't be selfish.
Love.

The Day's Events

After working through most of last night and going to bed at 5am, getting 5 hours sleep and then getting up at 11am to finish off my essays, I had a free evening.

Some friends were desperate to see Spike Jonze's "Where the Wild Things Are" and so I went along primarily out of curiosity, as well as something to do as the latter part of the afternoon could have potentially been a little bit lonely. I could have learnt my lines for my drama assessment on Monday, but I really needed a break from working to tell the truth. And so, we ventured to the Odeon to watch, what I thought was going to be light children's entertainment.

As soon as it started, I gathered that it wasn't just all fun and laughs, but that there was actually something of magnitude to be considered in the story. Although the plot is unbelieveably simply, and not much seems to happen, there is a lot which goes unsaid. However, words are not needed. There was more said without words, and this added a real deep sadness and weight to each character. There is a real melancholy atmosphere thoughout the whole film, even the happy moments are tinged with a certain sadness. However, by no means is the film depressing. It is reflective and has a lot of depth to it. The plot is overtly simple, yet there is a lot which is unspoken and that is what really grabs your attention.

Holding it, however, is a bit different. My only criticism is that it dragged a little, although I can understand that this is unavoidable when making a film from such a simple story. Effects wise, the animations were really wonderful. I barely even noticed them because the 'Wild Things' were just so life like. The soundtrack by Karen O was also really wonderful, its quite moody yet has a sense of joy simultanteously. It corelates beautifully with the images. I would give it 4/5 *

Afterwards, Luke dropped Geraldine off and went to pick Heather and Charlotte up. Then we (Luke, me, Sam, Charlotte and Heather) all went to a pub to watch some wonderful musicians play. The drive there was SO scary. It was a really foggy night and we were driving along some country lanes with twists, turns and sharp bends. Not pleasant. Especially not for Luke who had to cope with our 'worroed' sound effects. i.e. "ARGH!!!" When we arrived (safely, thankfully) we were so hunry and so were forced to eat over-priced food and drink because the pub was super-posh. The decor was really nice though and the atmosphere was laid back and relaxed, despite the fact that we felt really out of place compared with all the older, richer people who made up a vast majority of the audience. After a couple of hours of just enjoying the company and the music, it was time to head home.

Sleep is beginning to catch up with me now. So hopefully I will be able to get a good 10 hours in tonight before work tomorrow. After that, I think I should probably learn my lines. Ahh...there's no rest for the wicked. I never got that phrase...anyway, explanations welcome. Night all.

You

Before I begin, I just want to say that I'm not claiming to be an amazing preacher or teacher, but I do want to share what has been on my heart a lot recently. I hope I can share this eloquently enough so anyone of you who reads will understand!

I think being yourself is possibly one of the hardest things. Sometimes its so much easier to pretend, to wear a facade; a mask, imitate somebody else in order to be accepted. I know that I have struggled with this in the past, and continue to at times. The question I ask myself is: why do I do it?

Apart from the reasons aforesaid, I come to the conclusion that it is because I use it as a defense mechanism. If people don't know me, they can't judge me or put me down. When you get told negative things, or get judged by people who for, whatever reason, have taken a dislike to you- you start to believe it. Why believe it though?

What good does believing those people achieve? The Bible says that we will be persecuted and hated and mocked and judged. But it doesn't matter! That is what is so amazing. Because, by the grace of God and the sacrifice made by Jesus Christ, we do not have to suffer the burden and carry it ourselves, because Jesus has already paid for that on the cross. Whatever we experience on earth, whether celebrations or hardships, are temporary, compared to the eternal pardise we can have with Jesus in heaven.

We can sometimes think: "Oh I wish I was as Godly as her..." or "If only I could be as well liked as he is..."
The mintute we do that, we are doubting ourselves, but more importantly, we are doubting God; HIS workmanship. God made YOU for a purpose that no one else can do:
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2 v 10.
If we try and be somebody else, we will not be fulfilling God's purpose for our lives and fall short if we compare ourselves to someone else. We can't be perfect but we CAN be the best. You can be the best YOU! No one can be you, like you can. As obvious as it sounds... God made you as you are, and He is well pleased, He loves you, He cherishes you, you are His child and He couldn't be prouder:
"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3 v 17.

Don't let people ruin you by pointing out faults and flaws in your character (unless they come to you out of love- in which case- you can talk about it and pray about it!!) Don't let the enemy feed you lies. Don't try and be someone else or hide who you are.

You are a masterpiece, painted by the finest artist.
You are a symphony, composed by a matchless maestro.
You are a human, created by a fantastic Father who loves you.
Just believe it, and be YOU.

His grace is enough!!!

No nice pictures or a pretty video... just listen to the lyrics. This is our God; a life changing, saving, restoring, redeeming God.

Too early to be in the Christmas spirit?

So yesterday I was feeling really Christmassy and decided to make a Christmas playlist on Spotify! Brilliant! Listening to all the songs for the millionth time just brings me so much joy. Lol... even Kirsty MacColl calling Shane MacGowan a 'cheap lousy faggot' brings a smile to my face. Ahh what a lovely song... one of my faves that. Gotta get Wham! on there, and Mariah Carey, Elton John, Aled Jones, Slade; they're all on there! Any other suggestions that would make my playlist complete? All comments welcome... My flatmates and I decorated our flat today with lots of very classy(!) decorations such as gold and silver tinsel, a blow up Christmas tree, and stockings on each of our doors! It looks so cute...a little tacky but still. My excuse is that we are students and can't afford expensive deccies!! The reason we put them up so early is because next week is the open day for the Uni. Our flat has been chosen as a show flat for the prospective students to look around. Get £15 for that which is decent, and I won't even be there coz it's CU houseparty. (Woop!) Anyway, the flat will look all lovely and festive! :D

It's just always a really lovely time of year isn't it? I love the dark mornings where it's frosty and really cold and you have to wrap up warm; hats, scarves, mittens, big winter coat! And then opening my advent calender each day; you're never too old for one, I think! Decorating the tree is always so much fun in our house as well; we get Amy Grant's Christmas albums on the go- check 'em out on Spotify! Mum and Dad always go and pick the tree, then Mum puts the lights on, then the beads and tinsel. And then my sister and I put all the baubles and other hanging decorations on.

There are just so many things that I love about Christmas. It's not just about getting presents and eating a lovely dinner and generally just relaxing and watching a film, but being with my family and friends; going to church the night before for the carol service. I really love singing carols, reminds me of how great God is! I think my favourites are "The First Noel" and "O Holy Night". "In the Bleak Midwinter" is also one of my favourites. I love because it reminds me of when I was younger and my church did a performance about a group of lost toys at Christmastime and we sung that song at some point during the service. It was so cute- wish we had it on video... I played a teddy bear who had been thrown out coz he was old! Sad times for Fred Bear. That was the firs time I ever sung a solo in front of an audience as well. Quite a special moment for me, I'll never forget how I felt standing there. My knees were like jelly and my voice was shaking, but I did it. And I think I got the performance bug that night... I was thinking about that performance last night as I was compiling my playlist, trying to remember the song title...must ask the parents- Mum is sure to know!!

I feel so blessed that I am provided for and looked after so well by my family. I am always particularly thankful for this around Wintertime, drawing near to Christmas because there are so many that are lonely at this time. I pray that you all have a blessed season. But don't count your blessings- because we have too many to list. Anyways...maybe it is a little bit early to be this excited, nevertheless, I'm loving being in the festive spirit and I hope you will too.